Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
