not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
