my mouth tastes like poor choices
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
