Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
