I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
