rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
