It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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