Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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