i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize