im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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