I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
