Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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