Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
