Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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