Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
