i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
