you guys were way drunker than both of me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
