At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
