he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
