It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
