if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
