You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
