I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize