I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
