She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
this will be a night to untag.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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