I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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