In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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