I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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