You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
