I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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