Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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