If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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