So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
