Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
