I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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