I think I won the penis lottery.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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