So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
