Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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