I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
