i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
