Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
