I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
