pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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