my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
