Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
