I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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