i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
