But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
