wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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