I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
