Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
