i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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