My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
