Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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