I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
