haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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