He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
