Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize