Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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