So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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