she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
