Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
