If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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