You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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