you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
