im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My dick has a subreddit
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
