One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
