Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
