my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
