You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
